I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
