is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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