I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
