also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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