five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
