Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
