I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
