textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
