Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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