can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
