Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
