Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
