Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
