Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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