Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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