I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How does it feel to date your dad?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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