He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
