so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
