he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
