We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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