so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
