all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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