i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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