Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize