So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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