she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
