I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
my poor anus
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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