Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
