forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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