We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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