After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
