Who wears a wallet chain?!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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