watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
