spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
