i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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