There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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