hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I will be naked everywhere
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
