I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
