I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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