So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
