Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
