i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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