I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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