she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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