you're like a bully in the Christmas story
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
