ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
