I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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