did you get engaged???
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
