Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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