Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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