FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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