chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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