...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
