Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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