Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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