Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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