I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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