If that was your dad, he is hot
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
