Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
