I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
